Was I really that angry back then?

Apparently 2002 was not all that fun of a year for me.

I have recently been spending a lot of time reading through various blogs across the vast internet and thought it would be fun if I chronicled my "pre-mid life" crisis..... or, my decision to venture into the wonderful world of nursing. Upon entering in my email address to get started on the creation of my blog, I discovered that I already had a blog started. It had two posts. It was from five years ago. An entertaining read but I didn't realize what a potty mouth I was back then. Jobs in retail tend to do that to a person. Especially jobs in retail that involve shoes.

Let's skip back to about six years ago......

I was fed up of my work in the hotel industry and left a very prestigious downtown hotel to enter into the glamours world of big box retail. The individual who had hired me had promised me the stars and of course on my first day, delivered me a lower salary, a different schedule, and a new uniform policy. It was quite possibly the worst job i've ever had in my entire life. It was mandated that I wear all black (which was slimming however it looked like I was off to a funeral every day) and really never received a day off in the 8 months that I was there (hence my attitude in my first two posts).

I was quickly becoming broke and needed to vacate my downtown apartment fast. My BF at the time suggested I move in with him and his mother (which sounded like a good idea at the time). Thought #1 - Good ideas often come in bad packages. Anyway, it was a trying experience for all and I only experienced a minimal amount of hair loss.

Then I turned 30 and all hell broke loose.

When I was boy I often dreamed that when I was older I'd have a gigantic condo by the ocean with hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances. I'd sit with my husband Juan Carlos by the beach with the sun glistening off of our six pack abs. My pager would all of a sudden go off and I would be summoned to the hospital for a medical emergency. I'd speed to the ER in my BMW and dive into the blood and action in my scrubs. Ok, so I was a tad materialistic back then but as a trailer park child, I thrived off the dreams that one day, I would leave all of this behind and be successful and truly make a difference in peoples lives.

Fast forward to the big "29".......... I own a house but it is in a seedy area and get teased relentlessly from my work colleagues about "living in the hood". I drive a Saturn. A base model. No upgrades. I'm a glorified paper pusher who spends his day helping other people earn millions of dollars on investments. I love ice cream and have more stretch marks then my sister (who has had two kids). I haven't seen my abs since I was 12. I do have a man though whose name starts with J, but he hasn't seen his abs since he was 12 either. I don't live by the ocean but am surrounded by birds who periodically shit all over my car and house.

The fact of the matter is that as I got older, I cared less and less about the more material things. You learn that stainless steel appliances smear, scratches are a bitch to get out of hardwood floors, expensive houses come with expensive mortgages, love comes in unexpected packages, and weight loss requires hard work and hardly any ice cream. The one dream I could never let go though was the one of me working in the trenches in a hospital. No matter what happened in my life, that little seed kept sprouting and invading my brain with thoughts about nursing. I started watching documentary after documentary and ate my dinner in front of the TV while watching "Trauma: Life in the ER". I finally decided to take the plunge and finally take my chances on my childhood dream (well, at least one of them. I'm pretty sure i'm destined not to have a six pack).

From this point on, I'll do my best to share my quest from leaving the corporate jungle to becoming an RN. I'm sure it will be a ride to remember!!!